Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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