I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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