oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
