The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
