And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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