I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
