You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
