he thought i was a dude.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
