Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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