I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
