My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
