You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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