He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
