there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We had sex on a dog bed..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
