You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
