So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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