I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
