So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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