thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
