In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
