Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
