i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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