you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
