so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
