did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
