i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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