haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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