my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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