so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am one with the molecules
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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