That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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