Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
