OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
