I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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