so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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