loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
