you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
