Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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