didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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