He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
false alarm. still invincible.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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