What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
