I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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