I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
