whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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