what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
