matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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