He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
