that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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