It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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