i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
