I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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